Free download
First Steps Checklist
The first things to do when you realise Mum or Dad may need more support.
Realising someone you love needs extra help can be overwhelming. You may not know where to begin, and that's completely understandable. The good news is you don't have to solve everything in one day. Use this checklist to take one step at a time.
Trust your instincts
If something feels different, don't ignore it. Perhaps you've noticed they're forgetting appointments, bills are piling up, the house isn't as clean as it used to be, they've stopped going out, or they seem confused or anxious. Early action often gives everyone more choices.
Start a conversation
Choose a calm moment. Instead of saying "You can't cope anymore," try: "I've noticed a few things recently. How have you been managing?" Listen more than you speak.
Make a list of your concerns
Write down anything you've noticed: falls or near misses, memory concerns, medication problems, changes in eating, mobility difficulties, loneliness, changes in mood, or difficulty managing money or paperwork. Having written notes helps when speaking to professionals.
Book a GP appointment
A GP can check for underlying medical conditions, review medications, arrange memory assessments if needed, and refer to other services. Many changes that appear to be ageing can actually be caused by treatable conditions.
Check whether the home is still safe
Walk around the house and ask: Are there trip hazards? Is there adequate lighting? Are smoke alarms working? Is the bathroom safe? Are stairs becoming difficult? Is food being stored safely? Small changes can make a big difference.
Find out what support already exists
Many families don't realise help may already be available: local authority support, community groups, home care, day services, equipment and adaptations, benefits and financial support. Knowing your options doesn't mean you have to use them immediately.
Get important paperwork together
Create one folder containing: NHS number, GP details, medication list, emergency contacts, hospital letters, financial information, insurance details, utility account information. You'll thank yourself later.
Think about legal arrangements
If your parent still has mental capacity, now is the time to discuss Lasting Power of Attorney (Health and Welfare), Lasting Power of Attorney (Property and Financial Affairs), Wills, and advance care wishes. These conversations are much easier before a crisis.
Don't try to do everything alone
Family members often carry the entire responsibility themselves. Accept help where you can, from family, friends, neighbours, community groups and professionals. Looking after yourself is part of looking after your parent.
Take one step at a time
There isn't a perfect order. Some families need urgent help. Others have months or even years to plan. Progress is better than perfection.
Remember…
You don't need all the answers today. You simply need to take the next right step.
Every conversation, every phone call and every small decision helps build a safer future for someone you love.
Get in touch
How Golden Transitions can help
Golden Transitions exists to help families navigate what can feel like an overwhelming journey. Whether you're just beginning to notice changes or you're already facing difficult decisions, we'll help you understand your options, organise the practical tasks, and move forward with confidence. You don't have to navigate this alone.